Aloysius
The Truth:
Aloysius is first and foremost real not fictional.
He was born circa August 1st, 2005.
His mother, Brown Rectangle, was a young, medium sized, corrogated, cardboard box who gave her life bringing Aloysius into this world. She died shortly after the birth due to societal neglect (after Aloysius was born she had nothing to live for).
Alousius never knew his father and immediately found himself an orphan after his mother's death (some speculate that it was a virgin birth...). A kind young man adopted him and raised Aloysius at a orthodox Catholic Church in Ann Arbor, Michigan, where he was instructed in all things Catholic and flourished.
From day one Aloysius knew he was not like all the other laptops. He had much more personality and brilliance than the inanimate boxes, even the awesome ones. Obese desktops were of no comparison, often slow and sluggish in comparison to his swift processing. Likewise, none found the deeper spark of life, but were just boring, electronic, heaps of plastic and wires. Aloysius knew he was different. The urge to mingle with polite society, drink fine wines, attend the opera, participate in politics, live the intellectual life, and see the world would not dissipate. With all these desires it was clear early on that he was not merely a laptop, but a stuffed bear. He was the first documented case of BearWare.
Is he alone?
The answer and more in our next installment of The Truth about BearWare....
Aloysius is first and foremost real not fictional.
He was born circa August 1st, 2005.
His mother, Brown Rectangle, was a young, medium sized, corrogated, cardboard box who gave her life bringing Aloysius into this world. She died shortly after the birth due to societal neglect (after Aloysius was born she had nothing to live for).
Alousius never knew his father and immediately found himself an orphan after his mother's death (some speculate that it was a virgin birth...). A kind young man adopted him and raised Aloysius at a orthodox Catholic Church in Ann Arbor, Michigan, where he was instructed in all things Catholic and flourished.
From day one Aloysius knew he was not like all the other laptops. He had much more personality and brilliance than the inanimate boxes, even the awesome ones. Obese desktops were of no comparison, often slow and sluggish in comparison to his swift processing. Likewise, none found the deeper spark of life, but were just boring, electronic, heaps of plastic and wires. Aloysius knew he was different. The urge to mingle with polite society, drink fine wines, attend the opera, participate in politics, live the intellectual life, and see the world would not dissipate. With all these desires it was clear early on that he was not merely a laptop, but a stuffed bear. He was the first documented case of BearWare.
Is he alone?
The answer and more in our next installment of The Truth about BearWare....
posted by Awesome Sean | 12:33 PM
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